indistinct prayer
by Bubblemage-creation
Summary: Rukia and ichigo always had a weird give and take thing going on. so when irony kept throwing shit at them, it made everything better. throw in some unexpected life issues, and irony just keeps making it better, or worse. And that why they made it work, irony wanted them to work so they kept working. M-language, sexual content, self harm dont like dont read
1. Chapter 1

**A/N this is just going to be a drabble series so i'll be off and on with it.**

Love?

she didn't have the word in her vocabulary.

He never used it in his life.

They didn't know what Love was, when to give it, when to receive it.

but they sure as hell made it, every single night.

But, making love was at the same stature as fucking and screwing people. it was the only thing two lonely people could offer each other. He was too selfish to give money or share; and she was to prideful to even partially stoop to the point in which she'd ever accept it.

She felt like she needed to repay him after all the times he stepped in when she didn't need help. which was a lie because she'd constantly need it.

He lost all he'd cared about years ago, and wasn't used to not having anyone around.

emotionally, they were both stunted.  
physically? they were both hormonal seventeen and eighteen year-olds.

He'd came and gone again today. it seemed he chose the times that were most convenient for him to get in and out quickly. it hurt her, emotionally and physically. no matter how many times she put up the Kuchiki facade, he seemed to be able to see through it, asking her take it down every time there screwed. physically he bruised, and left red marks all over her; making her sore the next day. its not as if she didn't hurt him either, she was a very passionate lover. leaving bites, scratches, and nail marks. there have been quite a few times when she'd even made him bleed by biting or digging her nails in to hard. But none the less, it was euphoric. It took on a high none of the other drugs would. except when they did drugs and fuck.

god, those were the best times when they could do that.

She would over at him every night over her shoulder, depending on where they did it. Her place, hotel, motel, friends house, car; the works.

right now, they'd done it in her bedroom while no one was home; he climbed up the wall the lead to the third floor of her home and knocked on the window till she opened it. and right then and there he'd taken her. half on the wall, partially on the dresser, and the rest on the bed.

he was changing back into his clothes, lighting a ciggirate as he did so. it never took him long to get dressed, they'd been doing this for such a long time that it took seconds before they were fully clothed again. But somehow, seeing him walk out after she'd given herself to him made her heart ache.

she still remembered the first time he took her. hard and rough, and to the point. when he'd finished that was it. The next time had been sweet though for she'd still been sore and was crying slightly. she didnt know what to think of him anymore, so sitting up in the bed, covers falling off her body she turned and looked over at him.

"Do you love me?"

Ichigo stopped momentarily before shrugging slightly.

"Do you love me?"

"Not fair, i asked you first."

"I don't not love you...if that's good enough."

he said in a nonchalant way, which was his usual tone.

"What about you?"

"I love how you make me feel..if that's good enough for you."

And that was how most conversation when between them went; more or less one sided and forgotten moments later.

She was so young, he was young, they were destroying themselves and both still weren't ready for the real world. she lived a pampered life where all she had to do was marry another Heir and produce one. she'd be a trophy wife, so she set herself on making the most out of her life.

He came from a broken family, where everyone died and forgot themselves one time or another. It was just him and his dad at this point; his mother and sisters were long gone.

He remembered why he came to Rukia, why he sought her out and learned things only she could of taught him. Taught her things only he could of showed her. Every now and then he'd laugh, knowing it would come to end, it was bound to come to an end. and with that in mind, he sat on the edge of the bed and blew out a puff of smoke.

"Would it work?"

"I dont see why not.."

"How though.."

"how what?"

"How would it work?"

"irony.."

And that was that, it was a confusion relationship. and in the weeks to come it was still confusion. She didn't know what to call it, but she took comfort knowing it was something no one else had, something no one else could define. it was them. it was here and it wasn't going to go anywhere, which was good. they'd never get married, never be together, never break up.

it didnt need a title. just the constant Irony that made it work to keep working.


	2. Chapter 2

**HA a look into the past of both ichigo and rukia as they grow up..inspiration from the book the perks of being a wallflower...Lemon later x3 **

Rukia was sick.  
Rukia was Tired.  
Rukia was so sick and tired, that she tried to sleep..  
Alas, Insomnia stopped her from sleeping.  
So, She sought out drugs.

And got addicted..

And didnt stop taking them.  
Rukia later found that she had horrible anger management, and was sent the family therapist after she almost killed someone at the Kuchiki Dinners for calling her street trash and bad mouthing her sister.  
Was she supposed to let the guy walk away with his jaw intact?  
She didnt think so either..

Rukia never really had a family,

Thats why she craved attention...and love.  
the only downside to that was..  
Rukia didnt know what love was, and never would.  
no one had ever told her they loved her, it was deemed weak in her household. and weakness wasnt tolerated.  
Not even the younger kuchiki's were treated with love by their family members...it was always maid or nurse maids.

And what Rukia hated most was that she was never sure how it would feel to love someone, or something to point you'd give yourself up for them. She's had an idea since she and ichigo started hanging out though. But knowing, and having an idea are to different things.

There was a point in time in which rukia was so emotionally stunted that she couldn't even tell what a smile was, assume that one of the children face had up and broken in half!

Later on though, when she entered 4th grade she'd met a kid who had red hair and was always picked on, and being the kind of girl she was (helping the weak) she'd decked one of the kids in the face. It was after that they constantly sat next to each other. both had no friends, and as the years fell on, many people joined their small dysfunctional group. Orihime joined later that year, coming from an abusive home, Then Chad who was traumatized to the point he wouldn't speak, Renji joined around 7th grade, and was the oddball in the group; 8th grade they'd met Tatsuki who'd been pinning after Renji and came from a house in which everyone had to be a champion least they get smacked; and last but not least there was Honataru and Ishada who were just sceptics and shy.

Ichigo was around 13 when his mother and two younger sisters were murdered in their house. He'd watched it all from behind the closet door, and was to scared to go out and help; and it was after that moment that his father never talked to him anymore. he'd lost all belief that there was a god, and didn't believe loving people or caring.

because only fools believed in things that were immaterial.

It was on the eve of his 17th birthday when he'd gotten overly drunk at one of their cliques parties; and as odd as it seemed, Orihime supplied the alcohol from her own basement and some of the crack.

So there was smoking, drinking, and a really large chocolate cake that Tatsuki was eating from Via her own two hands. Rukia had been sitting next to him when he turned and nuzzled her neck, crying slightly. Everyone turned a blind eye, cause thats what everyone was here for, to let it all out.

it was the first time Chad actually opened his mouth and spoke, and it was just to sing happy birthday in spanish.

The first Rukia ever downed a shot of vodka/scotch, and didnt stop talking. It was at this point that everyone sat in a circle, crying and bitching about their lives, since these were the people that acted like nothing was wrong. Rukia talked about Chappy, Chad about Spain, Tatsuki about Karate and how she hated it, Renji on how he wanted to give everyone the same tattoos, Orihime about cooking, Ishiada about sewing, and Hanataru about medicine.

Everyone was piss drunk at this point with renji and rukia as the exceptions. Everyone had their shirts off, and Renji was tattooing everyone with flaming skull. Orihime had it on her left breast, Tatsuki on her hip, Chad on his left shoulder, Ishada on the side of neck, Honataru on his wrist, ichigo on his back, and rukia on her lower back. They called themselves the Shinigami, and wanted to make everything better.

even if they couldnt help themselves.

This was the night they became a dysfunctional family and assumed their roles.

Orihime had become something as a mother, the way she doted on everyone and knew what made them special.  
Chad had assumed the fatherly role, knowing how to push everyone the right way.  
Honataru was something of the older brother, patching everyone up and being the voice of reason.  
Tatsuki was tough older sister, who never cried in front of anyone.  
Renji was the brother who talked big and scared everyone off.  
Ishada was the confused one that wasnt really gay, or straight, but stuck to patching the holes in everyone life but making things.  
Ichigo was the younger brother, who was always scared but refused to show it.  
And Rukia, she was the baby sister who gave love, but didnt know how she did.

This was their family...and it kept them all together.

Ichigo was drunk, she was buzzed, but neither of them cared. Neither of them knew what the other was doing, and neither of them cared to know. The moment his teeth grazed the skin on the side of her neck, she'd finally given in and stopped trying to rationalize the situation.

His hands were grasping her waist now just as her own hung around his neck, his lips moving upward till they rested on her lips, a short sweet kiss that turned Passionate and lustful. As of this moment they lost all sensitivity and what was once viewed as a sacred art became carnal with need and want. He was quickly pulling off her dress and throwing it some where in the dark room, pushing her back on his bed, his larger body towering over her own. His mouth latched onto her collar bone as he bit and nibbled on it, her mouth hung open as small gasps and moans left it.

He was panting very hard by the time she'd become more bold and was tugging at his pants. Her tongue was trailing down his chest as he shifted his hips to help her remove her pants. It was a blur at this point, the kind that happened within the passing of a second. She'd found herself laying under him, his eyes boring into her own as he looked at her, seemingly for reassurance, neither one could be sure.

She nodded though, and he quickly pushed himself into her, braking through her innocence in a single quick thrust. She'd shouted then, her nails digging into his shoulders as she cried, but he didnt wait.

he started thrusting, and she started screaming.

He was moaning, she was wailing.

He was enjoying it, and she was hating it.

but somewhere in the deepest part of her being, she enjoyed it, and welcomed the pain.

it took several moments till they both climaxed and he pulled out of her, laying beside her on the small mattress. her lower regions burned and ached, and small pool of pink sat between her legs. waiting several minutes, she sat up and pressed her mouth to his ear, breathing on it, kissing it, and biting it. it didnt take to long before his hands found themselves and places on her body.

and for the second time, they fucked.

But, they explored the new found territories and un-charted lands.

they'd made a silent agreement to meet again in a week, when she had healed better. so when she gotten up and limped to the bathroom, his pride swelled knowing he'd fucked her that hard. And he smirked and followed her into the showers.

where they wasted another 2 hours.

why the hell not?


End file.
